For Soren

First, here’s your fast info survival kit

Contact your sister here

Contact Mommy/Jessica here

Contact Cousin Laura who works with children and will be able to help without telling us/Mama, if needed.

An important note: You will find a lot of new information about our lives by Googling our names. Know in your heart that we would never leave you. We haven’t and wouldn’t replace you. You’re our family. Forever. We love you. If you’re not mentioned in a news story, it’s just because the producer was an asshole. Not because you’re purposefully left out, or fogotten.

A Letter to My Daughter

Dear Sorey,

Your great-great grandma had 18 children.

One day, they asked her which one of them was her favorite.

She said, “The one who is sick — until they’re healthy. The one who is away — until they’re home.”

You’ve been getting the most love for a long time now because you need it the most, so we’re doing just like your great-great-grandma would have done. Because you’ve been held so long. I worry that you’re scared. Alone. I know you’ve been lied to by someone you love and trust and that always hurts.

You need to know something right away. I’ve heard that people have told you some bad things about me (Mommy).

Mommy has never done anything bad and there are no police protecting you from me or your sister.

There never have been. I never threatened anyone. I never said she was going to take you. Mama never called the police on me. Mama never went to court about me. I was never the “flight risk” that other parents tell me has been said about me. There’s never been a restraining order against me.

Sometime, when you were just ten years old, your Mama told these lies to you.

But there was no truth to the story. It was a lie. From what I hear, first your Mama told it to family and friends. Then she told it to the school. Then the principal and teachers told it to other parents.

So now here we are. You have a task the grown-ups can’t do: you are going to have to check so you can know who to trust and what’s ok and safe for you. Call the sheriff (I did; he’s nice. He can tell you there was no restraining order).

Call the Lane County courthouse. They can tell you there wasn’t ever any case about you, me, and Mama.

You’re in control of your own story now. So ask everyone.

I encourage you to talk to every single person Mama says is keeping you safe. Ask if they verified what Mama told them and how. Get names. Check out all those stories. Follow where they go.

I have SEEN you at every single gymnastics meet and I KNOW you don’t give up, you don’t settle, and you know what you’re worth. You’re strong and smart, and you shouldn’t settle for lies.

Your sister, Alice, misses all of Mama’s family who walked out on her, too, so you have something in common with sister about losing family.

A lie is kind of like a disease. It sucks and it spreads and it’s hard to fight. We all live battling this sickness every single day — and we’ll probably battle it every day forever, even when the truth comes out.

Your sister especially understands. She’s lost her mama just as you’ve lost your mommy. And yet we both know there are differences.

You’re dependent on the parent who lied — she’s the person who feeds, clothes, hugs, and watches over you every day now. You might be scared you’ll lose her if you don’t act loyal enough.

Cuz she’s done it before — left a child and said it was never hers.

My dream is for you to have it all. Truth. Healthy love.

I hope you understand I would never ever abandon you, let alone take you from a parent who loves you.

Adults who do this are not healthy.

They need extra love and more support, but do not get caught in their lies and lose the love you deserve. Do not lose your good boundaries about how people need to treat you.

We miss you. Alice and I grieve for you — our lost sister who gets put in that attic by a trusting Cousin John like you’re Rapunzel. You’re my little Rapunzel. If I could send you a little green lizard to keep you company, I would!

Someday, you’ll have your lanterns. And we’re out there, sending you light and remembering you and we’re here for you, ALWAYS, even if you can’t see us through the darkness.

But I urge you to think of things like this: if I were evil, why would Mama leave Alice here and never talk to her again? Wouldn’t she want to keep a CLOSER eye on Alice? Why forbid all her aunts and uncles from making contact? Why can’t you talk to Alice? Your cousins? Aunts? Uncles? Anyone on this side of the family?

And why did she say Alice was never hers?

You know this isn’t true. Everyone knows this isn’t true.

You know our Instagram has always been your first and middle names so message it! You can also send a Flickr message. We’re here whether you just need to talk or cry or if you need real help immediately.

Oh! We made the Flickr public for you. You deserve your own photographs and your own story. I’m sorry. I was afraid of Mama and I thought privacy would help keep Alice safe. But it took from you every picture of your own life. I’m sorry. It will be public now.

I even made an album so you can see your clothes, toys, and possessions. I’m sorry you can’t have them or visit them but I will keep them for you forever. Story Elf is well cared for. Furby rarely turns evil anymore.

We’ll make sure it’s ok and safe for you, too. We don’t want you to get hurt or in trouble or lose your mama for reaching out.

Your sister writes you all the time and some of her letters are on this website. You can read them and stay connected to her. At this point you better know it that you have this invincible sister who would do anything for you.

You can send her a message on Pinterest or Instagram, too.

You have led a different life than your sister even though you understand each other’s positions better than anyone else in the world.

I love you beyond the moon to a Gabby Douglass level ten and back.

You have so much time to hear my side of this story. Just know there is another side.

It’s important to hear that. You deserve the truth of your own life.

We’re always here to talk as soon as you’re ready, my love. We love you forever. We love you for being kind and trusting, and we understand that ten year olds are vulnerable. No one blames you for anything.

I loved your Mama dearly and I wish her all the love of her two children. I sometimes have nightmares she won’t grow old with the love of either once the truth bursts free. She’s already lost one, and it breaks my heart for her, as well as for your sister.

Yet, the truth is kinda the only way through at this point, isn’t it? It’s better to head straight through and get it over with. I swear. I wouldn’t lead you wrong.

We love you dearly.

There are a couple more things before we go:

• look over Fang in the backyard for us.
• For real, the truth isn’t as scary as it seems. Going slow is ok. But use your head and verify everything. Don’t assume. Don’t disregard information.
• Oh, and EVERY teacher in the school knows Mama’s lying. I mean, they’ve all been told, at least. I email them every fall. They have no reason to not verify this stuff themselves. I need you surrounded by people who KNOW. Who checks? Who asks if you’re ok? Did anyone tell you the truth? Or are they turning their backs on you?
• I made your family tree public online because everyone deserves their own genealogy. BTW: You’re a McCall (it’s Scots-Isish). You’re not Dutch. Or Seminole. Not at all! But OMG check out the real estate listing for the colonial McCall Mansion. So cool, you little McCall!

Sending only light and love and truth. Talk soon,

Mommy and Alice