Happy June! It’s pride and summertime. The weather is scorching and overwhelming. July will kill us all. If I see 90 degrees before then, I’m going to move to the remaining icebergs and seethe until they melt. It hasn’t rained in years. I don’t think it will before my birthday. How’s it down there?
I am affected by too much melancholy; I went for a walk yesterday and it didn’t help. I was still tired and sad. I think it’s the weather’s fault; it’s too hot. I think about making you a playlist of songs I’ve associated with you since Mom kidnapped you, but I feel too embarrassed, since that is the sort of thing a boyfriend made fun of online does. Nobody back home likes me anymore. I could not bear it if they laughed at me. Do you fear like that? Are you scared they don’t like you either?
Mom just gave me a bookmark from Grandpa (who passed in 2015, Edward Share) from the 1940s. It has Pearl Harbor’s name on it, which makes me wonder if someone in Hawaii was trying to capitalize on it. He wrote on the back to Mom, essentially, “It’s worth 18 dollars now, and in ten years you can cash it in for 25 dollars! Not much interest, but cool!” It’s from the 90s — he’d been in the war over fifty years ago by then; I think that’s quite interesting, how he interacted with time.
Thinking of you makes my heart physically hurt. I am tired and sad all the time. What more questions do I have for you? I will try to think of more by next time. I have had the same for too long.
With love,
Alice