Happy 2023! I haven’t written it incorrectly yet, which is perhaps my biggest accomplishment this year. How are you doing? Do you have any resolutions? I suppose my only one is to keep writing consistently. It’s far easier to deal with the concept of a new year when considering that time is completely made up. I tried to go to bed early but knew when midnight came because of distant fireworks, and couldn’t sleep because of them. Did you stay up?
Not very much has happened, per usual. I’m sure the most interesting thing I did this past week was go to the grocery store. It is cloudy outside, my preferred weather, but I haven’t gone walking in a long time. I feel too tired all the time. I presume the weather hasn’t cleared up there yet? It doesn’t usually until like June.
Your birthday is soon, what do you want? I can’t see you in my mind as much older than nine, for it’s been far too long… But I won’t play the broken record again. Are you having a party? Are you seeing friends? I remember my birthdays are becoming less exciting over the years; I wonder if it is due to trauma and friendlessness, or because happiness is more commonly assumed to be the realm of children than adulthood. Perhaps something of both. Has it been the same for you? I hope not, you deserve better.
I will write to you on the day, of course. And if you are not here, I am waiting as a long-ago sent letter in the mail, still there no matter the time. If I imagine that you are reading these, I feel a little less like a lost and hopeless fish in the midnight zone, and see a faint ray of light from above.
With love,
Alice