Happy day-before-Halloween! I’m feeling that seasonal depression hit. It’s very dark in here, and Mom and Aaron hate the overhead light, so it’s always decently dark.
Their wedding went very badly for me. For them it seemed fine enough. If I haven’t mentioned before, Mom tried to make me be the pastor. I tried to say no, she didn’t let me, then, the day of, she got mad I didn’t want to wear my 1890s suit for the occasion. I went up to change, she came up to lecture me, wouldn’t get out of my room, so I locked myself in the bathroom, got lectured from outside, and cried for multiple hours. Around 4 PM, she came up and said that she got one of the witnesses to officiate and that they were all doing LSD downstairs. So I kept hiding anyway. I got out to go do a thing with the historical museum (I was pretending to be a ghost at a Halloween cemetery tour) which was good. I’d only had breakfast so I could stop and get a muffin at the grocery store. It was a really, really bad day. But they’re married now. I also got a drug-fueled confession that Mom feels embarrassed to be seen with me when I wear vintage suits. Yay.
The rest of the week has been Mom’s typical “never talk about it again until the next time I try to say no to something” mode. Also more looking at grad schools. At least I could get some candy tomorrow. I finished my costume. Harrowhark Nonagesimus. A very good thing happened: my favorite YouTuber, miniminuteman, made a video about my favorite historical event, the lost Franklin Expedition of 1845. That felt like an apology from the universe. I just wish I’d be free from the forced family dynamic of it all. Everybody else wants to choose who my family is, including both of my parents. Sick of it. Mom thinks I’m immature. Why do I hate Aaron?… Why would I hate a feeding tube? Get out of my throat.
Anyway. Bad week. Stressed out. How are you? Feeling spooky? I was one of the only people on campus who would dress up for Halloween. The British don’t care for Halloween much. I’ve learned that Cousin Ryan has also had a Franklin Expedition phase. Our family likes horrible Arctic tragedies it seems. I’m very pleased. We’ve both made music about it, but he doesn’t know where his is. Also, I wrote a ghost monologue for the cemetery tour and they performed it! Very cool, but they also edited it weirdly. Manchester, England is Not the countryside. Lol.
I’m stress-playing Stardew Valley again, as I tend to do every winter. Pray for me and my crops. Oh my, the sun’s just come out a little. Good sign?
With love,
Alice
P. S. I spent a few hours drawing at a cafe a few days ago and tried a pumpkin spice latte for the first time. Opinion: it’s good! Very like pumpkin pie. I’m sipping another one right now.