How are you? Has school started up again? Mine did last Monday, and it’s very stressful, but hey, Mom thinks my SAT practice score is nice. I have two more APs, but they’re topics better than geography (literature and art history) so I hope I’ll do better! I got a 5 on the geography test, btw. I didn’t enjoy being 15 for a second to get it. Are you doing well in school? It’s a miracle I am.
The sky is overcast today. Ironically, I am overjoyed to see this turn of weather. I hope rain comes soon! I miss the rainy, green color of Eugene weather. I thought I just heard lightning, but it was someone moving something downstairs. I’m getting a little overenthusiastic. I don’t remember your thoughts on these subjects. Do you prefer rain or sun?
I had another dream with you in it. I found you, in some very tall, wide mall, and could not understand why you were acting so carelessly about our situation, though this time you knew what had happened. Meanwhile, I had a baby that mom’s boyfriend gave a name I hated, and it disappeared. I was traveling with you but you got lost again, and I could not find you. I saw my old elementary school friends again, and called out something to Siena.
I wish I never dreamt of you. I had a different one recently, where you were doing gymnastics at the gym and I saw you. I don’t remember what you said, but we went to a backyard with a small playground and soft, purple flowers, and I cried in your arms for having missed you. In both dreams I was happy and bewildered that finally, this was not a dream and I was seeing you again, but each time it was not, and I woke up alone. I don’t know what to do, Soren, for nothing has ever worked.
Cousin Malcolm followed me back on Instagram. I don’t know if he saw my bio, linking to this website and saying to go there for information on my kidnapped sister? He never messaged me. I am afraid to try. The basest form of acknowledgment is a thread I cling to, and fear desperately to lose. Does he know? I do not know. He has two children now, I saw them on Facebook; what ever would he think of this, as a parent? Most of our friends’ parents don’t care… It doesn’t make sense.
I leave you with a sad thought: Long Lost Cousin Jill is less long lost than us, to our respective lost sides. I love you.
With love,
Alice