Back on the iPad. Turns out the VPN was being annoying again and I had to turn it off. Happy Friday once again. This week was busy: lots of work. Vashon Film Festival o the sperm documentary, and the director came over with some friends. I hate him. He’s annoying and made fun of how I didn’t like being on camera. I had to leave the table to go cry in the bathroom — Mom would’ve gotten mad. Who would be so happy to film a non consenting child? Ugh. I had to deal with lots of that. I didn’t watch it, didn’t want to, and I was at work anyway. Mom was trying real hard to cajole me though. I just can’t shake the feeling that nobody here respects me.
At least work is nice. Someone (don’t know who) left me Smartfood in my staff cubby. And kitchen passersby bring us all snacks from the nearby corner store. Do you know how much free food I get? It’s great. And my audiobooks of course. I read Daisy Miller and Portrait of a Lady by Henry James this week. Both good. Laborious if you don’t like 19th-century prose. I wish I could stay away from home more or else have more time to myself there. I always feel on edge these days. Which is terrible because I like my house and I like my town.
I keep thinking about something Mom had me do when I was thirteen. She suspected Mom (Mel) might be a psychopath or sociopath, so she had me make a chart of the symptoms of both and analyze whether they applied. That’s like, not normal, right? I just wish I knew what was up with everyone. What really happened and why. I hope you have a better sense, if you can read these. Perhaps that is calming.
With love,
Alice