I am so tired. You have no idea how tired I am. Merry Christmas! What did you do today? What did you get? Here are some photos from this morning.
I got a lot of nice things. My favorite might be a Bluetooth-operated old-timey-looking radio. I don’t have any pictures right now because I was too busy photographing the cats — and right now I’m hiding from everybody (I’m too introverted for this). Grandma just showed us every picture from her trip to England. She liked it a lot. She got to see loooots of Beatles stuff. It took over an hour and now I am exhausted.
Mom’s starting on Christmas dinner right about now. It’s already almost dark. This day is more of a thing to survive than anything. It’s been nine years now since we tried to visit back home. It haunts me every Christmas. I try to think about new chapstick and candy instead. But it doesn’t really work that much. It’s like there’s a sinkhole in the middle of the living room. Sometimes my brain just starts saying ‘where’s Soren’ even though I know. I don’t know why. I’m sorry we’re spending another year like this Soren. I wish I could have done better for you. I wish Mom would never have done this. We have to keep trying to make something happy for ourselves anyway. And I just keep hoping I’ll see you again someday.
With love,
Alice